As much as many love to criticise the internet and social media, it does give people the chance to find out there are others like them and figure things out. Pre-internet, it could be very isolating.
Making out on some uninspiring boy's astronomy-themed duvet (why did they all have the same one??) thinking surely everyone feels bored by this don't they? Surely they do.
Bisexual here. Used to sneak The L Word on my telly in my room finally feeling like I understood a part of myself but, at the same time, it all felt million miles from where I was (small town Essex; deep in love with a mercurial girl; both teens and complicated!) x
Representation matters so much! As someone who knew from a very young age that I liked girls (and only liked boys to play football with), brought up in a strict Catholic house, you can only imagine how excited I was when Brookside aired the first lesbian kiss between Beth & Margaret. Pretty sure I wore the video out rewinding and rewatching it over and over. But I will say, even though it appears slightly "easier" now, my now 23yr old daughter still struggled to tell me she liked boys and girls in her early teens. Even after growing up in a household with a gay parent. This is why we need positive role models - on TV, on stage, in films, in books, in sports, music. In short, people like you, Suzi.
Honestly, I don’t think it matters who is visibly out at the time of your youth. If you don’t know, you don’t know. And, if you do know but you don’t feel comfortable enough to say it out loud, then that’s just how it is.
We all go through this to some extent.
I came out in the early 90s. But it seemed everyone in school, in the 80’s, knew I was gay long before I did. I thought I just really wanted to be friends with a particular girl etc.
I hung out with mostly boys. Played football with them.
And, still I didn’t get it. When I look back now it was so obvious.
No wonder everyone at school knew.
But I didn’t. It honestly never occurred to me. Never! Until, I got a job at a college in the city and I met a couple of lesbians (colleagues) and we made friends. Still, I didn’t think I was gay, but it opened up a whole new world to me. A world I didn’t even realise existed. Of pubs and clubs that were for gay people. I had a boyfriend but, when I went out with my gay friends it woke something up in me. It made me think about the possibility. The, what if?.
Something I had never even considered despite what everyone else was telling me. In the media I’d seen the Beth and Margaret kiss in Brookside while I was at school. I’d seen Della and Binnie in Eastenders and, Colin and Russell. I knew of Ani Difranco and loved her music. George Michael. Frankie goes to Hollywood. Boy George.
It was all just as visible as it is now.
But, we all walk our own path.
There’s no one size fits all.
We’ve forged the path for the young of today. But no matter how much visibility there is, until we have to stop ‘coming out’ and can just be what we want without question, people will always struggle. No one’s ever heard a straight person say, ‘I came out as straight’. That’s what we need. That’s what ‘queer’ people need. We need for parents to be more open to their children being whoever they want to be and being with whomever they want to be with and making it ‘normal’. Then and, only then, will it be ‘easy’ for people to be who they truly want to be without question.
Until then the cycle will continue to circle round and there’ll always be people who struggle with their identity.
I, for one, wouldn’t want to be a kid nowadays. Going through it all again but with the added bonus of never being able to close a door and get away from external pressures.
No thank you.
I think, in hindsight, we might just have been the ones whom had it easy! (Never thought I’d say that!.
As much as many love to criticise the internet and social media, it does give people the chance to find out there are others like them and figure things out. Pre-internet, it could be very isolating.
Making out on some uninspiring boy's astronomy-themed duvet (why did they all have the same one??) thinking surely everyone feels bored by this don't they? Surely they do.
Bisexual here. Used to sneak The L Word on my telly in my room finally feeling like I understood a part of myself but, at the same time, it all felt million miles from where I was (small town Essex; deep in love with a mercurial girl; both teens and complicated!) x
Representation matters so much! As someone who knew from a very young age that I liked girls (and only liked boys to play football with), brought up in a strict Catholic house, you can only imagine how excited I was when Brookside aired the first lesbian kiss between Beth & Margaret. Pretty sure I wore the video out rewinding and rewatching it over and over. But I will say, even though it appears slightly "easier" now, my now 23yr old daughter still struggled to tell me she liked boys and girls in her early teens. Even after growing up in a household with a gay parent. This is why we need positive role models - on TV, on stage, in films, in books, in sports, music. In short, people like you, Suzi.
Honestly, I don’t think it matters who is visibly out at the time of your youth. If you don’t know, you don’t know. And, if you do know but you don’t feel comfortable enough to say it out loud, then that’s just how it is.
We all go through this to some extent.
I came out in the early 90s. But it seemed everyone in school, in the 80’s, knew I was gay long before I did. I thought I just really wanted to be friends with a particular girl etc.
I hung out with mostly boys. Played football with them.
And, still I didn’t get it. When I look back now it was so obvious.
No wonder everyone at school knew.
But I didn’t. It honestly never occurred to me. Never! Until, I got a job at a college in the city and I met a couple of lesbians (colleagues) and we made friends. Still, I didn’t think I was gay, but it opened up a whole new world to me. A world I didn’t even realise existed. Of pubs and clubs that were for gay people. I had a boyfriend but, when I went out with my gay friends it woke something up in me. It made me think about the possibility. The, what if?.
Something I had never even considered despite what everyone else was telling me. In the media I’d seen the Beth and Margaret kiss in Brookside while I was at school. I’d seen Della and Binnie in Eastenders and, Colin and Russell. I knew of Ani Difranco and loved her music. George Michael. Frankie goes to Hollywood. Boy George.
It was all just as visible as it is now.
But, we all walk our own path.
There’s no one size fits all.
We’ve forged the path for the young of today. But no matter how much visibility there is, until we have to stop ‘coming out’ and can just be what we want without question, people will always struggle. No one’s ever heard a straight person say, ‘I came out as straight’. That’s what we need. That’s what ‘queer’ people need. We need for parents to be more open to their children being whoever they want to be and being with whomever they want to be with and making it ‘normal’. Then and, only then, will it be ‘easy’ for people to be who they truly want to be without question.
Until then the cycle will continue to circle round and there’ll always be people who struggle with their identity.
I, for one, wouldn’t want to be a kid nowadays. Going through it all again but with the added bonus of never being able to close a door and get away from external pressures.
No thank you.
I think, in hindsight, we might just have been the ones whom had it easy! (Never thought I’d say that!.